Thursday, March 24, 2005

Mr. Monk vs. The Soup Nazi

Mr. Monk vs. The Soup Nazi

Neuroticism at its best. How do these two end up meeting? Monk (no not your Buddhist type monk) is assigned a murder case involving a short order cook employee who went ballistic on a customer. Can you guess who? Yes, you did guess right: it’s that fat, grungy, foul smelling guy with nasty long-ass fingernails that hasn’t bathed since Jordan played for the Chicago Bulls, and he works at McDonalds. … Oh yea, back to The Soup Nazi - he just happens to have a store that is on the next block over from that McDonalds, and Monk decides to go inside for some soup. I forgot to mention Monk has been transformed into a 50 foot ape-monster and Soup Nazi was mutated by atomic radiation into a huge dinosaur-like creature with a hatred for Tokyo and its people.
Your very own personal atomic neurostats:

Monk Kong:
- Once a member of the San Francisco Police Department
- Severely suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder (could you please arrange your #2 pencils from least amount of eraser to most amount of eraser)
- Plagued by various phobias including: germs, heights, crowds, and milk ( - I’m kind of scared of milk myself)
- He is an extremely intelligent private consultant with an unorthodox approach to crime
- A gigantic, primitive, angry, demonic, primordial ape with a violent sexual desire and a love for climbing tall buildings (I also love whiskey)

Soup Nazi-zilla:
- An insatiably love for organization and order that borders on a pathological and irrational obsession for his store and all people ordering soup
- Hates any customers with any type of enthusiasm or emotion (I definitely work with this guy)
- Resides at Soup Kitchen International located at 7th Ave. and West 53rd st according to this link
- Also has an incredible strength and a destructive fire/atomic blast
- Likes to visit Japan and it inhabitants on a regular basis to destroy everything in it's sight
- A cross between a stegosaurus, a tyrannosaurus rex, and a short order cook that was frozen for millions of years until awakened by atomic testing
- Arch enemy: Mothra, Seinfeld, and Tokyo

Side note: This one time at Band Camp, Wolf-Man Jack says “stay in school kids”

Winner: Monk Kong. Yea that’s right I said it … what of it? Oh, you want to know why. Ok, Monk walks into the Soup Kitchen International and inevitably see something wrong with the picture – too much soup in the ladles. He immediately points this out to Mr. Soup Nazi who transforms into Soup Nazi-zilla because he did not place his money on the counter and move to his left. (Sure, I’m f*cked-up in the cabeza but I also have internet access). Monk then proceeds to summon Monk Kong the raging gorilla beast. After a fierce battle, large buildings are in ruble, toxic chemical fires are rampat, and mass pandemonium breaks out on 7th Avenue. Monk Kong then rips out Soup Nazi-zilla's heart and eats it after a blood-curdling cry.

-check out this guys page: Duck Power, he recommended this fight and he’s pretty random too - all hail randomness.
Ha ha ha!!! BEST FIGHT EVER!!! You've truly got a gift, dude!

(And thanks for the plug!)
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