Saturday, March 12, 2005
Genetically enhanced cybernetic Mary Poppins vs. Hell’s Angels Gang with Giant squid as boss
That was a mouthful; … and slightly insane?? Anyways, Mary Poppins was created in the future by the last surviving rebel humans to rid the world of bratty English children, who love chocolate. Along the way she encounters a bloodthirsty gang of murderous bikers led by an infamous Giant squid. To make a long story short she must fight them or else all humanity as we know it will go down in a gloriously devastating mushroom cloud in the year 2029.
Genetically enhanced cybernetic Marry Poppins:
- Vain, domineering, strange, mysterious, and a relentless killer … oh, and she English
- A powerful machine of an extremely durable construction that can sustain a considerable amount of damage
- Can wander into paintings and travel the world with a magic compass
- She can't be bargained or reasoned with. She feels no pity, or remorse, or fear. And she absolutely will not stop, ever, until she has achieved mission objective.
- Ability to fly with or without umbrella
- Zoo animals celebrate her birthday
- A full barrage of gun fire does not affect her
- Can induces a type of hallucinatory aesthetic mainly in children
- Partial to sugar and medicine and can turn chores into pleasure
- Wins infatuated devotion from all subordinates
- Created by a artificial intelligence called Nannynet
- Has modish philosophies for child raising
- Primarily composed of living tissue over an android skeleton
- Indistinguishable from an organic being
- Resides at Number Seventeen Cherry-Tree Lane, London
Hell’s Angels Gang with Giant squid boss:
- Source of the majority of outlaw biker counterculture
- Associated with gang rape, white supremacy, and murder.
- Responsible for $1 billion a year worldwide from drug trafficking
- Caused more than 100 deaths including 84 bombings, 130 reported cases of arson, and 9 missing persons
- has 2,000 members and prospects
- 189 chapters in 22 countries around the world
- Hired as crowd security for $500 worth of beer (that’s a shit load of Corona) then killed someone
- have a hierarchical structure including Mr. Giant Squid who flaunts his power to attract recruits and draw them into crime
- It’s also difficult for law enforcement to infiltrate the Angels because becoming a member requires committing crimes.
- Almost killed Hunter S. Thompson
- Leader lives in most of the world's oceans and is among the biggest animals in the sea
- The leader is rarely seen and hunts smaller sea creatures. Including whales
- Can survive cannon, musket, and harpoon attacks
- Has a long, torpedo shaped body that is carnivorous mollusks
- Moves with a jet of water forced out of the body by a siphon
- Average length 20 feet with 30 feet tentacles
- Has attacked the Norwegian Naval tanker: the Brunswick, in 1930.
Winner: The Hell’s Angels. - I’m pretty sure you want to know how the downfall of humanity as we know it will occur. Good thing this blog is here to tell you. Marry Poppins first assumes the role of a regular Cybernetic Nanny but then she discovers a gang of hoodlums. She promptly teaches them how to clean their room but all of a sudden Mr. Architeuthis (giant squid) decided to make an appearance. At this point Poppins cybernetic circuits overload due to the fact that she is only adapt to deal with human interaction. The squid then places a large tentacle over her head and proceeds to suck her brains out. The end; Game over man; we’re all going to die… Giant Squid and accomplices win; all humans die. Well at least now all of you know the sad, sad truth about the future of humanity. - Don’t hate the player, hate the game; and the blog he posts on.