Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Count Chocula vs. Count von Count from Sesame Street

von count vs chocula

Beneath their enthusiasm and aristocratic charm, both of these counts possess a dark and evil soul which can only reign supreme if the other is slain. They have known since the dawn of time that this day would come. Chocula and Count von Count come together in this epic battle of vampires.
How they stack up:

Count Chocula
- No other breakfast cereal character rivals the charisma of Count Chocula
- Has one single solitary fang in the center of his mouth
- Single-handedly tries to peddle his chocolately spooky-fun cereal to the world
- Undead since 1971
- Frightened of rodents and small children
- Survives on the blood of fellow cereal monsters
- Side kick: Spooky marshmallow ghosts

Count von Count
- Obsessive compulsive addiction to counting (arithomania), and then uncontrollably laughing afterwards
- Will count anything regardless of size, amount, or how much annoyance he is causing
- Sidekick: Muppet bats and cat
- Possible relation to Bela Lugosi
- Able to survive daylight
- Female companion : Countess Dahling Von Dahling
- Undead since 1972
- Caused sheep to strike because of excessive counting
- Mexican count name : El Conde Contar
- Survives on the blood of fellow Muppets

This fight takes place on the mean streets of Sesame with crack addicted irritable bums that live in trashcans and enormous mutant yellow sub human birds. Since both vampires are potentially immortal and each have their own respective vice: chocolate and counting, this has the potential to be gruesome.

Winner: Count von Count. Chocula really jumps into this fight “fang” first and doesn’t adequately prepare for the fanatical mind of the Count von Count. First off, Von Count has a small colony of rabid bats that can do his evil bidding. Second, and more importantly, this fight takes place on Von Count’s home turf, which he will defend at all costs. The final “nail in the coffin”, so to speak, is his sexy seductress: Countess Dahling von Dahling. She fatally lures Count Chocula into a theobromine (no not a threesome, it’s the primary psychoactive components of chocolate) overdose; he is immediately rushed to a local hospital but is later pronounce dead. Just to be sure though, the doctor rams one, ah…ah...ah… spooky-fun chocolate and marshmallow steak through his heart and puts him “down for the count” – sorry I couldn’t help it.
Comments:
oh my lord, I think I may have to marry you.

the end.
 
THANK YOU! I always thought this battle needed to happen and I could not believe that no one else had thought about the potential rivalry between these two!
 
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