Saturday, February 26, 2005

Sloth vs. Chewbacca



The lovable and deformed Goonie Sloth has a real fight on his hands. Chewbacca is ready to rumble. Each of these two characters communicates through an equally unintelligible dialect. Chewy might be a little more intelligent, and sure Sloth has been physically abused since he was a child but that’s not what this fight is about. It’s about honor, and integrity.
Here’s the stats:

Sloth:
- Superman and pirate movie enthusiast
- Side kick : Chunk, overweight, like ice-cream
- Youngest of the Fratelli brother
- Sloth a.k.a. John Matuszak, former Oakland Raider and 2 time super bowl champ
- Able to hold heavy boulders to prevent cave-ins
- Abused by mother and kept chained to the basement
- Eight foot tall
- Poor dental hygiene

Chewbacca:
- Immense, fur covered warrior of great strength and loyalty
- Wookie from Kshyyk
- A wise, sophisticated being with exceptional skills in starship piloting and repair
- Legendary temper
- 2.28 meters tall
- Has a coat of ginger-brown fur
- Weapon of choice Bowcaster

Winner: Chewbacca. Sloth really didn’t stand a chance in this one. Throughout the entire fight a constant and indecipherable shouting could be heard. Chewy really only had to lure Sloth in with a candy bar and deliver a final devastating shot with his pistol.
Comments:
I totally agree on this one. The only way sloth has a chance would be on the football field.
 
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