Thursday, February 24, 2005

Olson Twins vs. Hilton Sisters



YES. You did read right. I just want to know why this fight hasn’t happened already. Well it goes with out saying that it is going to be a very public brawl and it will probably be broadcast on national television or at least pay-per-view. No other venue could possibly hold the crowds that would come to see this other than the Mandalay Bay resort and casino in Las Vegas. Also it is going to be under the Ultimate Fighting Championship rules and take place in the octagon, with a cage.
Here’s your stats:

Olson Twins:
- Earned their wealth
- Combined worth is estimated at $300 million
- Average height is 5’ ½’’
- youngest self-made millionaires in American history
- Both are 18
- own a clothing line that retails at Wal-Mart
- Publish the Mary-Kate and Ashley Magazine
- Practice Yoga
- Own the number one girls videogame franchise in the world
- Owns 32 different domain names to get to their official site
- On the Forbes list of the World's 100 most powerful celebrities
- Zero Playboy appearances or nude photo shoots - and no porn video

Hilton Sisters
- Born into wealth
- Combined worth is estimated at $60 million
- Average height is 5’ 7’’
- Arch enemies : Stella & Lola Schnabel, daughters of painter Julian Schnabel
- Paris 22, Nicky 19
- well known for throwing tantrums of epic proportions
- working on owning chain of trendy up-market clothing stores
- top on the list of the young, rich and single on FHM
- Paris is a great amateur porn actress

Ok now let’s determine some the rules of this UFC style fight: No Eye gouging, biting, or hair pulling. No putting a finger into any orifice (we’ll waive this one) or into any cut or laceration on an opponent. Can win by submission or knock out.

Winner: Draw; just kidding the Olson Twins. As much as I would have like to se Paris put Mary-Kate into a sleeper hold with her legs she just couldn’t do it. Mary-Kate and Ashley have clearly trained long and hard for this, just like everything they do and it shows. They also have some type of evil genius working for them in the background. How else could they have amassed 300 million dollars selling this crap? Paris shows up to the bout intoxicated, but Mary-Kate is weakened by anorexia. So its up to Ashley to finish off Nicky. She does this by calling upon her vast army of 14 year old girls who savagely beat Nicky into submission.
Comments:
So, who is the referree? I volunteer!!!!!
 
that would be a pretty sweet gig
 
This was funny!

Great Blog!!

tracyv
 
funny stuff! How about a steel cage match for George W vs. Jeb...Neil Bush can be the ref.
 
hehe....wot a contest, on the glamour front paris and nicky rock, olsons are just parent pushed twats!!!
ref....i'm thinking paris' sex tape partner!!
how cool would that be!
 
r u nuts!?!?! hilton sisters had this won!!!WHOS THE OFFICAL!!!
 
You are evil, and it is good!

Lol, I love it!
 
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